I work at one of the busiest Wawa markets that exist, frequently as a cashier, repeating the same polite greetings with the same half-smile hundreds of times in a single shift. By the seventh hour, I feel like a robot: "Hi, how are you today?" And, "Would you like a bag?" Don't forget, "Have a great day!" For the past few weeks, Wawa has been collecting donations for the JDRF, and it's my job to ask if customers would like to donate. I get a huge variety of responses, but the most popular decline is, "No, but thank you so much!" I've been turning this response over in my head for awhile now. I want to say to the customer, "Why are you thanking me? I'm asking to take hard-earned money right out of your pocket." It seems like having manners is more important than making sense sometimes.
From a young age, we're taught by our elders how to act politely in a
social environment. Simple manners such as saying "please" and "thank
you" are reflexes by the time we enter early education. We might not
have known why we said thank you when given something, but we knew the consequences if we didn't. Were we ever taught what "thank you"
really means? We hear and speak those words so often, they aren't even
words anymore, such as when you say "vegetable" thirty times out
loud and it becomes just a sound without a meaning.
After doing some research, I learned that the phrase "thank you" was originally "I thank you." According to dictionary.com, the word "thank" means to express gratitude or appreciation. I suppose we understand the phrase at some point, but using "thank you" is still a social standard and a reflex. Why are you considered rude if you give a smile instead of uttering words that are just sounds without meaning?
The use of social standards such as saying "please" and "thank you" show that you're a normal, polite American who functions in society. What do you think about the person in line at Wawa ahead of you who doesn't offer a greeting, simply mutters the brand of cigarettes he wants, and leaves without another word? He's shady. If you don't use your manners, the public questions what type of person you are. Social standards make our world run smoothly. Although they are seemingly outdated and weird responses, they're an essential part of our culture.
I have to say that I understand completely where you're coming from, in terms of automatic responses. Working at a movie theater, I've been through exactly what you're talking about. Ripping tickets for hours at a time can become monotonous and I'll often use phrases more out of reflex than conscious thought, much like muscle memory. I may ask someone how their day is and, assuming they will ask me about mine, respond. Often, I'm not asked about my day, leading to some temporarily awkward situations. Fortunately, I've found a solution that helps avoid this kind of thing most of the time, but that's my secret =p.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post and once again making me deeply examine the world and the way we live in it.
This is such an intelligent observation! As kids we had the action of saying "please" and "thank you" drilled into us so much it makes sense why it's such a common reflex now. Also going along the same lines, in ROTC we always scold the younger cadets if they "forget their courtesies," as we call it. I never thought about exactly why we did it but your post brought up a great point that it's more than showing appreciation towards someone, and it's often done without thought. Great post!
ReplyDeleteAt a young age my parents instilled in me to always us my manners, especially when out in public or at another person's house. Using a simple "please" and "thank you" shows people that you care and that the task they have completed for you helped you out. I agree with you when it comes to people who don't use manners, other people will usually look down upon them or think there is something fishy about them. "Please" and "thank you" may be over used or used improperly sometimes, but I still think people like to use it because it is polite and no one likes talking to a rude person.
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